After hearing French presidential candidate Jean Luc Melenchon call for a 100% tax on the rich, a move that made the PB’s chuckle we asked him to endorse our up and coming day school, he claimed to be too busy to write much, but said we could publish his first attempts at erotic historical fiction as a clear show of support.
There was a sexy bra and a sexy par of big old panties. They were on a person. The bra upon closer inspection was actually a pair of child’s swimming goggles. In a surprised protection of the collective nipple the pink pinchers against there purposed function slurped all surrounding breast flesh inward. There was I dunno know large robust frillies able to contain the appendages of an adequately sized man. Wild orgy of shapeless blobs, floating teeth suck floating breasts, suckle and suck on pink pincher bosoms.
“Ooo crickey what ample breasts” If you slap it they will jiggles wiggles and ripples 5 seconds unaided, 5p a turn, 5 year jiggle. Release them from the pink pincher prison and you shall rub your penis over the mountains of my torso. Hurry for I grow impatient and my kettle (vagina) has come to boil. Woo Hoo she screamed Woo Hoo she screamed again Woo Hoo the Kettle had boiled.
In 221 BC the first bra was discovered fossilised in the ash of mount etna, engraved it was with its maker, the pre historic rockers dinosaur junior who had woven it from the first rejected drafts of the bible. It was taken to the pope where upon it was declared a saintly messenger from God who had finally seen fit to enslave the protruding juice buckets of heathen sex. Til the outbreak of war, Sunday was simply know as the day of the bra.
Unlike other western appendage gatherers Bras have changed little since the middle ages. There is nothing new about keeping things in there place. Froom Dulwich Italy the bra conquered the globe. The Austrians never missing new themes for erotic wall carving innovated wooden bras with fire door access, the earliest form of sexual health and safety. First World War Germany rationed Bras due to a breast shortage. Leading to the humorous British Music Hall satirical reworking of the classical “It’s a long way to tipperary” to become “Its a long way to get some boobs”. In colder countries the naked natives would use left over whale blubber from the local newspaper to frustrate the frost. Whales rights activists recently led a “no more whale 3” campaign that stormed Japan as the worlds leading blubber bra company based in Tokyo JellyFishTits was besieged. In Siberian gulags women were forced to self snowman but there bosoms were so hot (If you know what I mean) It was largely ineffective. In Bolivia bras and pants were woven by alpaca’s from their wool, when Harold Macmillan claimed “Breasts have never had it so good” He obviously never realised about the alpaca cannibalism.
King Canuts war against inanimate objects stretched way beyond the puddle of the north sea, in a farcical episode created by the vikings delicacy to abbreviate, Canuts wish to invade Britannia ended in a latex bonfire that set back the development of s and m in Denmark for nearly a thousand years. In our modern Utopia of burnt of bras, the liberation of humanities finest manifestation of chest bumps knows little bounds. Britains Got Talent was in literal titillation when the ironically titled singing breast duo the boys won the genitals of the nation only succumbing in the end to the openly racist under 5’s all white dance troop the ghetto blasters. No one wants to stereotype the no shoe hippie platoons but their constant radio play of the their pop folk classic “Take off your Man maids” encouraging Women to strip at any available opportunity was adequately lampooned by Edna Bi Carbonated soda when she said it’s destroying the fun I have in foreplay.
The question of Bras seems increasingly irrelevant like that of Brexit, but still I hear the ad infantum repetition that only the Tories will secure us a hard exit of the braupian union.
You should all attend the No peace in the park with the psychedelic bolsheviks cause whether you turn up in a bra or not they won’t really care and that seems like feminism to me.
Jean Luc Mélenchon.
Psychedelic Bolsheviks 